Sticking it to “the man”

Can someone please do me a favor and take a look at the parking meter pictured above and tell me what the rates are? I swear it saids 15 minutes per quarter but I think my eyes may be failing me lately. I of all people should know that all numbers start looking the same to you when you spend all your waking hours staring at annual reports and SEC 10-K statements.

A couple of weeks ago I went to class early one day and parked at the nearest metered parking spot I can find to Kenan-Flagler. The meter clearly saids 15 minutes per quarter (I checked the week before on what the rates were) and I made sure I left my apartment with enough quarters to last three hours. It wasn’t until I started putting money into the meter that I realized the meter was set at 12 minutes per quarter. I decided since the meter was mislabeled, I was going to … ahem … live life on the edge a little bit if you know what I mean.

So imagine my shock when I returned three hours later and saw a shiny bright white parking ticket on my windshield. I quickly sent an appeal to the Department of Public Safety, explaining that either the meter is mislabeled or the machinery is not working properly. About two weeks later, I go the reply telling me that all meters on campus are 12 minutes per quarter and that I had ten days to submit my $15 payment.

What’s really sad about this episode is how I responded when I received the response to my appeal. Like the feckless coward that I am, I quickly dispatched a check for $15. If this had happened to me when I was a young UVA college student who still had “the fight” in me, I would have put up a fight the like of which you would not believe. I would have dug up the name of the person in charge of the Department of Public Safety (probably the University police chief) and taken him to small claims court to make him pay for my ticket. This goes to show how seven years of working in corporate America has neutered me.

A recent article in the Daily Tar Heels about the huge backlog in parking violation appeals process gave me an idea. From now on, every time, I receive a parking ticket, I am going to appeal it over the internet. And I am going to use the most frivolous reasons such as “the voices in my head told me I don’t have to pay the meter.” The way I see it, if the folks at the Department of Public Safety wishes to employ a strategy of profit maximization, I am going to respond by employing every legal channel available to increase their costs.

(For more information on this topic, using sham proceedings to harm a competitor, see Noerr-Pennington doctrine.)