Remembering to count my blessings

Recently I received a letter that made me realize I should spend more time feeling grateful for the things that I have instead of complaining about some of the things in my life that I feel are not going right. One of the things I have always wanted to change about myself is the way I work. I have noticed since college that I don’t get work done as quickly as my counterparts do. A good example is I tend to spend more time studying and doing assignments than my classmates to get the same results. This deficiency carries to other parts of my life, such as getting work done in the office and doing personal errands. I am not sure why I have this problem but I suspect the main culprit is my inability to focus and my vulnerability to distractions.

 

The letter was written by a man name Matt and was forwarded to me in an email on the young professionals mailing list of the church he used to attend. I have never met Matt but I know he is in his mid 20s. In the letter he described his struggles over the past seven years with obsessive compulsive and sensory integration disorder. Overnight he turned from a college student with a 4.0 average to one who has lost 95% of his ability to focus and to concentrate. It began to take him three to four times as long to do anything from reading a paragraph, writing a textbook, doing personal errands, to getting dressed. As the years went by, his condition got worse. His disorder created an itch that made him uncomfortable from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep.

 

Eventually it got to the point where his inability to concentrate and the physical discomfort from the itching rendered him unable to function. It became difficult for him to communicate with friends and loved ones. He gave up his dream of becoming a doctor and was unable to hold on to seven different jobs in the past twelve months.

 

Matt Cress died a week ago today. The letter that was forwarded to me was his suicide letter.