Receiving honest feedback

One thing I have noticed about American society today is that very rarely do people offer valuable and honest feedback. There are several reasons for this. One is we live in a society where we value not offending someone. Another is that we place a high value on making people feel good or better about themselves. A third reason is fear of retribution. will give you a good example of how I have seen this in my MBA experience. When a recruiter comes to Kenan-Flagler to interview students, the recruiter is given the opportunity to provide the Career Management Center with feedback on how specific interviewees have done during the interview. Even though the recruiters know that students will not be penalized by the Career Management Center for any negative (or positive) feedback and such feedback can only be used to help the students become better interviewees, I have been told that very rarely do recruiters given such feedback.

 

Yesterday morning I was still getting over the euphoria of the interview the day before in Long Island City when I received an email from one of my interviewers. This was a reply to the “thank you” email I sent out an hour ago. The email reads (paraphrasing) as follows:

 

“Hello (my first name), it was very nice meeting you too. I hope this helps you with your interview but in an interview, it helps to hear the actual question that is asked and phrase your answer in response to that question. Best of luck on your job search.”

 

While I have never had any delusions of grandeur about my interviewing skills, I never expected an interviewer to be so blunt with me. Even though a friend who read the email commented that it was rude, I have no doubt her intentions were good because I got the impression during the interview that she liked me personally. She was probably disappointed at how poorly I phrased my answers.

 

Obviously this has significantly deflated the excitement that I felt coming out of the interview. It’s the political equivalent (there I go again with my political analogies) of the exit polls showing that the constituents in polling districts that are friendly to you are not turning out with as much enthusiasm as you had expected and your pollster changed the race from “tossup” to “leaning (political party you don’t like).” I am really curious as to whether she wrote that email before or after meeting with my other interviewers. If before, it could be that she just didn’t like my answers and maybe I did better with the other two. In addition, this interviewer was half an hour late to a one hour interview. If she wrote the email after having met with them, it’s likely that one other interviewer commented on the same thing and I am dead in the water.

 

After I have had the chance to further digest the information, it dawned on me that her email was shocking because it was the type feedback recruiters don’t give anymore. It’s the type of honesty that is rooted in good intentions and yet our society and its legal system today no longer allow. Where some recruiters resort to not sending out rejection letters in an attempt to avoid lawsuits (the logic being that if a candidate has not yet been rejected, he cannot sue for discrimination), this interviewer took risk to help me become a better interviewee and I appreciate the gesture.

 

I just wish it didn’t come at such expense.