“I have no idea what you are talking about Dad”

There comes a time in every man’s life when his father asks him a question and the implications of an honest answer are such that it is much better for him to feign ignorance than to tell the truth. I arrived at that moment on Sunday evening when my father gave me a ride home from the bus stop.

 

I had gone to a bar to watch the UNC Duke game with a friend of mine from college. My father picked me up from a bus stop about half an hour from where my parents live and about five minutes into the car ride, the car had stopped at a red light when it occurred.

 

“What exactly is linjury?”  When I asked him what he was talking about he pointed at the neon sign at the store across the street. I looked over and saw an establishment called Planet Pleasure. The sign said “DVDs, Video, Lingerie.” My dad goes on to say “I know what a DVD is, I know what a video is, but what is “linjury?””  

 

“I really don’t know” was all I could muster. I figured since he never gave me the “birds and the bees talk” and left me to figure out certain stuff on my own, I am completely justified in not telling him the definition (or even the correct pronunciation) of the word lingerie.