Note to self

Part of an ongoing series.

 

Hi, it’s me again, you know the voice in your head that mocks you everytime you do something stupid. That was real good going in financing deals class today. The professor talked about the financial problems of Ford Motor Company, asked if anyone knew how much it recently cost Ford to borrow money, and you raised your hand and said 6%.

 

I am willing to bet that even some of your classmates who have job offers in investment banking cannot walk into the local bank on Franklin Street, ask for a 30 year mortgage, and receive a rate as low as 6%. Yet, somehow, you think a company with a credit rating of CCC minus can get that good of a rate. Makes me wonder if you understand the difference between innovative thinking and wishful thinking.

 

And what about time in September when you were at that presentation for that telecom company you wanted to work for and one alum from Atlanta asked for an estimate of the number of Americans with cell phones and you guessed 400 million? Not a bad guess, except our population is only 300 million. So in order for your answer to be valid, we would have to give cell phones to everyone on a student Visa, every tech worker with an H-1B Visa, and to the twelve million illegal aliens currently running around doing jobs that supposedly “ordinary Americans refuse to do.”

 

I will even bet that if every Al Qaeda lowlife in America were to sign up for ten cell phones (to keep from being detected by using a cell phone no more than once), we wouldn’t come close to 400 million. And two years from now when President Hillary Clinton decides to issue every enemy combatant at Guantanamo Bay his own cell phone to call his lawyer and to report allegations of prisoner abuse to the American Civil Liberties Union, we still won’t come remotely close to 400 million.

 

Ah yea, so in the future, it’s probably better for you to remain silent and have others assume you’re a moron than to open your mouth, and remove all doubt. You need to remember that, and hey, it rhymes too! Open your mouth, you’ll remove all doubt.